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If You Don't Know Me by Now...

You know how the song goes. "If you don't know me by now, you will never, never, never know me...."

After being together for 10 years, you would THINK that I know all there is to know about my husband, and that he knows everything about me.  Not so.  You really can be with a person for years and think that there'd be nothing new to discover.  Again I say - not so.

Each year, I tend to reveal something about myself to my husband, either in conversation on a long road trip after the kids fall asleep, or when something on TV or on the radio triggers a revelation.  Here are some of my favorites that have made him raise his eyebrows, chuckle, belly laugh, or just left him aghast over our past decade together.

1.  I am a big Dave Matthews Band fan.  The hubby surprised me with concert tickets for my birthday this year... and he not only researched the music, he found a couple that he liked and endured the whole concert which was several hours long, with a headache (no fault of Dave).

2.  I never played on a team in high school with another black person - and I was a cheerleader, ran track, played basketball, volleyball, tennis, and soccer.

3.  I had a jheri curl.

4.  I got my driver's license at 14, and was driving myself to and from school, 45 minutes each way, by 15.

5.  My knowledge of doo wop, 60's, 70's, and 80's music is near encyclopedic.

6.  I pretty much know the words to EVERY Cosby Show episode. Yup, darn near all of 'em.

7.  I got jokes. Lots of 'em.

8.  I am scared of slugs, frogs, worms, salamanders, and other wet yet hairless creatures... but not snakes.

9.  I have yet to see Roots.

10.  I spent time in Singapore and Hong Kong as a kid.

11.  Not only am I crafty, but I really like power tools.

12.  I went to a Milli Vanilli concert.

13.  Star Trek, not Star Wars - is my franchise of choice. The fact that I had a "franchise of choice" was also surprising.

14.  I can sleep through just about ANY movie, especially if it is on past 8 pm.  That's when my internal clock says its bedtime.

15.  I hate alarm clocks.

16.  I never really considered that I'd get married or have children. Ever.

17.  Even though I had my college boyfriend do all of my typing homework for me, I can type REALLY fast.

18.  As a kid, I would rather sit in front of the family Apple II plus and program quizzes and games in BASIC than go outside.  I'm still a big ol' nerd.

19.  I can cross one eye at a time.  He really hates that one.

20.  I was really good at clogging (yes, the dance) in the second grade. (Basically... River dancing to country music.)

In the last ten years I have learned so much about my husband, but the most important thing I've found out about him is that he accepts me as I am.  Who I was is a huge part of who I am today, and those quirky little things about me that he learns helps him to understand and appreciate the weirdly normal, exceptionally average, seriously funny, maniacally easy going, adventurous recluse and super shy people person that I am.

This post was inspired by mystery thriller novel The Expats: A Novel. Kate Moore sheds happily sheds her old life become a stay at home mom when her husband takes a job in Europe. As she attempts to reinvent herself, she ends up chasing her evasive husband's secrets. Join From Left to Write as we discuss The Expats: A Novel on January 22. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. Check out the discussion here: http://socamom.com/soca/en/component/content/article/113-featured-stories/794-10-by-10-blogs-i-checked-out-today-january-22-2013-book-club-day-edition

You learn something new about the people in your life that you care about every day.  How much do YOU know about your spouse?  Do you think there is anything that you could find out about them that would make you rethink your entire relationship?  What is the craziest thing that you have found out about a person AFTER you have already fallen for them?

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Stay Out of Harm's Way...

"Stay out of harm's way... Okay, Sport?" That's how my dad has always said, "I love you."

My dad and I in the mid 80's after Sports Day at my Elementary School...

He still says that now, when we get off the phone. My dad and I have always an interesting relationship.  Good or bad, I felt like I understood him, and even if he didn't totally understand me, I knew that he accepted me as I was. I got into trouble, no doubt - but I don't remember him making me feel like I was a bad person for it.

My dad is a family lawyer in a small southern town, and one of the only black ones when I was growing up - so people knew who he was. Racing home to make curfew one night (well, morning) on a dark back road I saw red and blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror.  I had almost made it.  This was a few years before my mom told me never to pull over unless I was in a well lit public area (I got my permit at 14, and license at 15... ah the good 'ol days), so I pulled over on the site of the road. I looked at the clock as the car rolled to a stop, and the crunching of the gravel and dry pine needles under the tires signaled my defeat.

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Show and Tell: Show Me the Love...

After a long hard day, my husband made me this caramel and chocolate latte.

Ah... Love.

How do you show your spouse and kids that you love them?  I grew up in a house where we didn't say, "I love you."

I knew my parents loved me, but those three words weren't the way that they showed it. I married a man whose family said it as a matter of course, and I found it a little uncomfortable.  Once I had my oldest, I knew I'd have to get comfortable with saying it - so I did... to him.  I had no problem telling my baby boy I loved him.  Anyone else expecting that same verbal affection could kick rocks.

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Dear Crayola...

Baby Girl's attempts at her self portrait.

Today Baby Girl's art class assignment was to complete a self portrait. She was so excited - she grabbed all sorts of crayons, markers, pens, color pencils, and got started.  Eventually she realized that there were no browns that reflected her skin color exactly... not even close really.

"This one is too red!" she complained, "I have to start all OVER!" She tossed the her half done drawing to the side, and pulled a new sheet of paper from the package.

I went over to her desk and looked to see if maybe she overlooked some other colors that may have been closer to her exact hue.

"That one looks orange..." she whispered as she looked over my selections for her.  Eventually I agreed.  There was nothing that would match her unique shade of brown.  I found one that if she colored with a light enough hand, could come pretty close.

"That's not it either," she protested, now on the edge of tears.

We went into the bathroom and compared her drawing to her own face in the mirror.

"See... with your new tan, you are kinda red, right?" I said - hopeful.

"No mommy.  Not THAT red! And that is going away anyway," she explained.

I could see that she was on the edge of a meltdown (she takes her schoolwork very seriously), so I colored in some for her to show her how close we could get.  She managed a little smile and went off to her desk to try her best to complete her assignment.

 

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